Critique of some new Penzey's Spices

Last week my friend Jody and I stopped at the local Penzey's Spices store to stock up on spices and use our coupons for a free new spice. We could choose a 1/2 cup jar of one of three new spices. Unfortunately, they were sold out of her choice, the new Tuscan Sunset, "a salt-free Italian-style seasoning." Apparently it's very popular with the spice enthusiasts. I do way too much Italian-style cooking and my spice drawer is overflowing with "Italian-style seasonings," so I opted for the Smoky 4/S Specially Seasoned Sea Salt. Jody swears by the original 4/S blend, so I thought I'd give this a try.

When I got home with my free jar of Smoky 4/S, I noticed two other new jars of spice I'd gotten during recent Penzey's visits. So, I decided to cook 3 chicken breasts on the grill that night, one flavored with each of the new spices. Here's my critique:

Smoky 4/S: While the smell was rather strong in the jar, the flavor was surprisingly subtle. Jason commented that it just tasted salty. I agree - it was like using salt with a dash of paprika. Okay, but not great.

Northwoods Seasoning: This one smelled a lot like the Smoky 4/S in the jar, but it had a lot more flavor on the chicken. We both really liked this flavor. Not too salty, some smokiness and very flavorful but not overpowering. This was my favorite.

Mural of Flavor: despite its lame-ass name, this spice was good. It's a blend of a dozen spices. This was Jason's favorite, which I expected because it was very similar to an Italian Seasonings blend. Like Italian Seasonings with a little citrus twist to it, but not overly tangy. I thought it was okay.

BTW, Penzey's website navigation sucks and it looks like the owner's 16-year-old kid designed it. The information is pretty much what is in their catalogs, and it is informative. I hope they re-design it soon and make it more modern and funky.

Mizz Dita Von Teese

Dita Von Teese (the former Mrs. Marilyn Manson) is a new It Girl. She's in cahoots with Perez Hilton, who shamelessly plugs her every move at least weekly. He's so catty and rips apart almost everyone, save a Favored Few such as her.

She is a "burlesque dancer." I didn't even know what that was or that burlesque dancers still existed. Isn't that some shady gig that ended in the 1940s? I'm picturing moonshine at a speakeasy during Prohibition with busty ladies entertaining the gentlemen. At some point (earlier this year from what I've observed), she became a legitimate performer and not a a stripper claiming to be an artiste. Now she's getting booked to perform at tons of corporate parties where celebrities go. Apparently her shows include her wearing pasties and swinging almost naked from 50 feet in the air and dancing suggestively with a custom-made giant lipstick. She's a fixture on the red carpet (any red carpet) and is photographed going "out for drinks" at the Chateau Marmont.

Despite being quite hetero, she definitely is hot enough to make me dream of another woman. She's also really made me re-consider what is art and what is acceptable entertainment. I like that.

I wish I could be her when I grow up. She makes no excuses or apologies. She knows she's hot, she knows we want to see her bump and grind, and she is surely paid handsomely for it.

She is in her mid-30s and the fact that she is close in age to me and looks THAT damn good gives me a smidge of hope for my physical future. Maybe I need to invest in some overpriced MAC cosmetics at Sephora.